It’s Matthew’s world, and we’re all just living in it

Everyone knows of Bush, Obama, and Trump. What people may not know is that there is another president, one that outshines all of his predecessors. One whose political aspirations and future possibilities know no bounds. That man, of course, is Junior Class President Matthew Turner.

  Matthew, or Matt as he’s known to the general student body, has spent the past year triumphantly leading the agenda of the class cabinet for the class of 2019. Matt has been in charge of the coordination of many events, the most recent of which being Darby Prom. He has done a great job with the class cabinet so far, and it appears that he may not be finished after this school year.

  “I guess there’s a chance,” said Turner, in regards to whether or not he is planning on a senior year run for class president. When asked for the probability, Turner responded “50-50”.

   With the possibility of a second term looming over the horizon, it is important to know where Turner’s priorities are. When asked if there were any class cabinet scandals that the students should know about, Turner seemed a little rattled, saying, “I don’t – not that I know of. And if there were I wouldn’t tell you.” Although Matt then doubled down, insisting that “there’s not” any scandals, it is apparent that there is some more candidate research to be done before the senior year race.

  Nonetheless, Turner says he has been working hard for his school. It seems that Turner’s constituents approve of his work as president. I talked to an anonymous member of the junior class about President Turner.

  “He’s a great person, he’s nice, and he’s handsome,” said the student.

  One quick interview with Matt confirmed that all three of those things were certainly true, but I wanted to get Matt’s take on the subject. I confronted him about his alleged handsomeness.

  “Hey, I… look. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion.” Turner said modestly. This was an important point to clear up, so as a follow up question I asked if Turner believes that other people would agree that he is “handsome”. Turner responded hesitantly, saying, “Maybe, if that’s how they felt inclined to respond to my looks.”

  Besides Prom, another event Turner has worked on recently was Darby’s First Annual Lunch Ping Pong Tournament. The tournament was a brainchild of Turner’s, and he came to all of the lunch periods to help set it up. The tournament was a very fun and successful event, with the winner of each lunch period receiving a 15 dollar gift card to the establishment of their choice.

  “It went well. I think we had some good participation, maybe it’ll come back next year,” said Turner.

  I also asked Turner about his personal life. His grades are good, he says, and in his free time he likes to play soccer. He has a sister at Darby but he did not adequately respond when I asked if she was single, saying, “What is this? What is this for?” Clearly that is still a question mark. He also gave credit for what has helped influence his success.

  “My family’s good, I want to thank them, and The Academy. Darth Vader’s pretty cool. He inspired me,” said Turner.

  Turner also shared some advice that helps him be successful at school, on the field, and in life in general.

  “Have fun with whatever you’re doing,” he said, “That’s the biggest thing.” When asked if he had any parting words to say to the Darby Student Body, he replied simply, “Go Panthers!”.

  Despite the suspicions about Turner’s possibly (probably, if we’re being honest) scandalous presidency, it is clear that Turner has been a successful and quite handsome school politician thus far. With his school spirit and personal drive, his potential has no limits, and it will be exciting to see what he will be able to accomplish in the future.


Note: This piece is a satirical creative writing piece that reflects the authors opinion; although the interview and Matt’s confusion by the questions asked are real. 


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *